I wish I had a baby duck that lived in my jacket pocket.

It would cheer me up if i was ever down. I could also show it to friends to cheer them up, too.

If I ever got into a fight, I would pull out the baby duck. We would both smile and concentrate on it for a while- our feud dissolving in our minds.

While in my pocket, it would never grow old.

It would eat credit card bills, but pay them online for me -it would use my smart phone, also in my pocket.

It could also check its fantasy football team on my phone, but it wouldn’t touch my team because I don’t think I could trust it for that.

It would poop dimes.  Quarters are too heavy.

Although, sometimes if it hadn’t pooped in a few days, it would poop silver dollars.

But hopefully the credit card bills won’t constipate it too much.

It would never need to pee, so that solves that issue.

Sometimes I could brush its down and it would shed flecks of gold.

I couldn’t do this too much, because then it would go bald.

I’d be very careful.

I could sell the gold at a pawn shop, or some other Cash for Gold storefront.

I’d never use a mail in service to sell the gold, because that looks like a scam.

Oh, to have a baby duck!

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Like ducks? Don’t keep them as a pet, Donate to the International Bird Rescue!

They remind us: Wild ducklings and other baby birds are not toys or pets. While International Bird Rescue is happy to offer orphaned baby birds a second chance at life, the best place for them to survive is with their mother. International Bird Rescue asks that friendly citizen rescuers make sure that baby birds really are without a parent before bringing them to International Bird Rescue, and never take them home to be pets.

The best way to love a wild duckling is from afar – be a hero for one of these orphans today!

Or… just look at a picture of them.