War Horse responds to a fan letter:
Dear Fan,
Thank you for your interest in the movie War Horse. I am glad it has inspired you to learn more about my exploits during the Great War. Most people are more interested in the human side of the story- I’m glad to see you “bucking” this trend. Pun intended.
However, rather than watching the movie, I implore you to pick up my memoir, Give that Horse a Hand: the War Horse Story, at any local bookstore worth a damn and read what really happened.
Because I must inform you that I have been to the initial screening of War Horse and I must say that I am disgusted. The characters are unsympathetic and quite unlikeable. The scenes of war are nothing like the real experience of being there. They show me as “brave”, but in truth I was quite terrified the entire time. I am a horse and, like all wars, this wasn’t my fight. I took no sides except to just stay alive and run like hell (cue epic music).
And the special effects are grotesque. The scene where they replace my front hoof with a human hand is completely unrealistic. My hand looks nothing like that Frankenstein concoction!
I must also tell you that the story presented is almost unbelievable had I not lived through some parts of it. And the acting is atrocious. When they get that two-bit bag of dog food that plays me to recite a single line of the regurgitated tripe that they call a script, he sounds more like Mr. Ed than yours truly. I have always been told that I have a voice like Morgan Freeman, not like a simpering gelding. And why is it that the role of the Equus always so stereo-typed? Like my friend Flicka used to say, not every horse speaks with a drawl and wears a common snaffle bridle. Show some respect, Hollywood!
In the final scenes, where they show my “death” – hello, I’m alive – the screen is overwhelmingly thick with every movie cliché in the book. My “rider’ has tracks of tears that run down over the mud on his face like a Mississippi bayou after a levee break, bellowing and spitting a final farewell that is intended only to manipulate the audience into “feeling” in the final moments of a story that lacks any feelings at all.
In any case, if you do see the movie, please see it at the matinee and make sure to get a few drinks in you first. You will need it. I wore blinders and a feedbag and it wasn’t enough.
Yours in oats and whey,
Joey “War Horse” the Horse
Reprinted with the permission of Joey the Horse
I know a few people who have started treatment this year. Hang in there! I hope the treatment is going well for you and that you are receiving the help and support you need. Let me know if there are any questions you’d like answered.
If any one else knows others who are currently going through treatment, I extend the same offer.
I haven’t given up on my cathartic year of cancer awareness and survival celebration events, I’ve just been too busy to post. I’ll be getting to that very, very soon. It’s been a great experience so far!
In the meantime, here is a great post on what to expect on the first day of chemotherapy treatment.
http://crazysexylife.com/2011/what-you-can-expect-on-your-first-day-of-chemotherapy/
A Bang! inspired comic.
So You’re Starting Chemotherapy – tips for the journey
Some ideas I’ve compiled based on my experiences in 2002.
Own it. You have cancer. You must face the fact that the moment you found cancer is the moment you became what they refer to as a “survivor” and what I refer to as “being human”. Having cancer does not make you special or unique. There are millions of people who have gone through the same thing. It’s something you have or had and something you will have to deal with for the rest of your life. What makes you special or unique is how you deal with it.
Be informed. Know what chemotherapy is, does, and why it’s used. Check out this Wikipedia article to start, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemotherapy. Then, find out what course of treatment and why it is being prescribed by your doctor. Find out what the doctors goal of the treatment is. Know the drugs that are being used for chemotherapy. It’s never just one. Also, brush up on possible side effects of them and prepare yourself accordingly.
Ask questions and don’t accept any medical language that you may not understand. Knowledge is part of the control you will have over the treatment. Have your doctor or nurse explain things until you fully understand what they mean. Use this knowledge for you, not against you. Don’t be paranoid and don’t be afraid (I can say that, but doing it is quite difficult- these are your bridges to cross). Don’t second guess your doctor by looking it up on the internet- second guess them by getting a second opinion from a professional that has the education and experience you need. Self-diagnosis is the slippery slope to paranoia and hypochondria.
Find support. I didn’t go for support groups, but many people going through treatment find them extremely valuable. Find a group that can help you during and after your treatment. Post-chemo is just as hard emotionally. Look into support groups for the type of cancer you have online or at community centers. There may also be groups supported by the hospital that you are receiving treatment at. Help is where you find it.
Tell your family and friends what’s going on. Don’t surprise anyone with the news by announcing it on Facebook or waiting for a social function. Proactively get the word out to the people you care about. Also, don’t let anyone introduce you as a cancer patient at a party- make that your job. One time, before I knew what was happening, I was introduced as a cancer patient at a party and I found it humiliating as these family members and strangers looked at me with such pity. I’m so much more than a cancer patient! Put yourself in front of that bullet and you may find support you never knew existed.
Help yourself. Find things you enjoy doing and do them. Don’t put life on hold (try not to overdo it, though either). This is a great time to get into books, puzzles, games, movies, crafts, or whatever. Find joy in small things as big things may be too difficult. Set up plans for the near and distant future so you can have events to look forward to. If you find yourself sitting alone and feeling sick and sorry for yourself, go find something to do. Anything. You aren’t helping yourself if you find yourself in that situation.
Take care of your health and nutrition. Chemotherapy destroys white blood cells and alters your hormonal balance. Almost immediately, it is difficult to fight the smallest cold. As time goes on, your body takes longer to heal, so tasks that used to be easy can wind you. Your doctors are busy enough making sure you get through chemo- it’s your responsibility to pick up the rest.
Take the appropriate steps to reduce your chances of getting colds or flu. Avoid eating in cafeteria style places, wash your hands twice as often and be sure to watch for any food born illness outbreaks or new epidemics and protect yourself as best you can. Don’t be too afraid though. Your body can still overcome many things; it’s just much much harder.
Take supplements. It may be hard on your stomach to take pills, but products like Ensure can make that easier. However, since chemo I can’t even stand the smell of Ensure now because of the memory response. I ate so much of it! Still, it’s very good for you and you need all the vitamins you can get.
Drink lots of water. A sign of good health is clear fluids in and out. If it’s not clear out, then drink the water you need to correct this. While is sucks to walk to the restroom with an IV in you, it’s better than not.
Get to know your food. There are many nutritional fact web sites out there to gain information. I like this new-ish one NutritionFacts.org. There you can find gems like “soy can greatly reduce your risk of breast cancer recurrence” http://nutritionfacts.org/?s=breast+cancer. This site is a reference I trust.
There are many places out there that don’t have good information. Whether your information is from web sites, forums, newspapers, advertisements, or your grocery store shelf: do your fact checking before implementing the product into your routine. Take kombucha tea for instance. This drink can not deliver what it says and has been reported put people into comas. http://nutritionfacts.org/topics/kombucha-tea/. Proof that a little research can go a long way.
Take naps. Sometimes, you won’t have a choice. But rest is very good for you. However, taking too many naps can be a sign that you are slipping into a depression. Assess your mental health and take action to fight it.
Remember that you are alive. Wake up. If you’re reading this, you’re alive. Seize it, live it, talk to someone, make art, play a game. You may be just fine and feel healthy, or you may feel like your in your last hour; either way, make it count if you are able.
When and if you start to lose your hair, get rid of it. Who wants to watch their hair slowly fall out? This is a stressor that you can alleviate by just owning it and throwing it out. Think of it as a chance for your scalp to heal from years of shampoo and product, or a “low-maintenance” style.
Lastly, scars are cool. No matter where they are on your body. Unless it’s just a cat scratch- that’s not as cool. Otherwise, this is a physical display of character and experience.
I’ll post more advice as I think of it. In the meantime check out these sources for support.
http://www.livestrong.org/Get-Help
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/coping
September 10, Michele and I will be doing the Paws Walk. This is not a cancer benefit, but we absolutely love PAWS and everything they do for animals; so it’s worth taking a break for. Come along if you like or donate. If you do have a dog, it’s BYOB – Bring you own baggy.
On October 1st, Michele and I will be participating in the Hell Run in Carnation. Registration is filling up fast if you’d like to join us. We’ll be in the 11:30 AM wave. If you don’t want to run, I’m sure observing this spectacle would be fun, too. Again, feel free to come!
The race is an all-out obstacle course through mud, over tires and hay and then through more mud. It sounds nuts/fun. Check out the details here http://www.hellrun.com/seattle/#/Hell_Run_Home.
The run benefits LiveStrong. While I’m not a huge fan of Lance Armstrong, I love this organization.
Blog news – You may have noticed that my blog url has changed. I’ve changed providers to DreamHost and hope great things from them. I already like their commitment to the environment.
I will be adding more content to the blog soon now that that’s all sorted. But first, I will be celebrating Michele and my 11th wedding anniversary this weekend!
















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